Training is available for just about any career in America, from burger flipper to top executive. But many of us are thrown into our most important job, mothering, without any guidance at all—and when we want it, it can be hard to find.
Maybe you live far from family. Or your relationship with your mother is tense. Or she’s no longer living. Or you are a Christian and she’s not. Do you sometimes feel like you are walking alone? How do you find women who can advise you on this amazing, exhilarating, crazy, hard, even (at times) painful path of motherhood?
Remember What Your Mom Did Right
My husband and I agreed when we married that our goal was to take the best things our parents did and build on them to make something even better. (I hope my kids do the same, for the record.) Your relationship with your mom may not be perfect, but focus on what she did right and emulate those good things. If she really didn’t do anything right, use it as reverse mentoring: consider her an example of how not to be and determine to break the pattern and change your family tree.
Look to God, the Best Parent
Read the Bible and notice: How does God parent us? How can you apply those principles to the way you raise your babies? The older I get, the more I notice the grace God extends to me. I ask myself how I can extend that grace to my kids. What does the Bible say specifically about parenting? Learn from the best!
Seek Out Moms You Admire
Maybe you notice a wise older woman who has done a great job with her kids. Or someone closer to your age who seems to know what she is doing. In our culture, there is a shortage of those women the Apostle Paul mentions in Titus 2 who should teach us young chickadees how to love our husbands and children, but we can still cultivate relationships with women who are willing to tell us what they know. It doesn’t have to be a formal mentoring relationship, just seek these women out, befriend them, and ask them questions! Be assertive! I’m so thankful for those women in my life who are willing to put up with my questions and share their wisdom!
What about you? Do you find it easy or hard to find mom mentors? How do you find ways to be mentored?