Reviving Motherhood

Learning on the Journey

Mama Self Care: Relationships


The other day I was reading one of my favorite blogs by a wise and loving mom with a lot of kids.  But she was expressing sadness that she has no one near her age who is part of her life.

I kind of wanted to cry for her.  It is SO easy to get so bogged down, especially those of us with big families, that we fail to nurture friendships like we should.  Thing is, God has created us for friendship, relationship, community, connection—yes, even you, introvert!

We may not be able to have the intensive BFF friendships that we did when we were single women, but we must make time to squeeze friendships into our lives!  Here are a few ideas.

Text or email “How are you doing?” or “I have been thinking about you today.”  Even if you only have a second, let your friend know she is on your mind.

Throw some PBJ and cookies in a bag and meet a friend and her kids for a picnic at the park—even if it’s just an hour every now and then.

On your way to run errands, meet a friend at the local fast food place during the morning hours when it’s not busy.  Drink something yummy and let your kids play while you visit, even if it’s just for 30 minutes.

Get involved in a small group at your church.  Hopefully you already go to church anyway—it is so worth it to go a bit earlier or stay a bit later and build friendships with other Christians!

Kid swap.  Keep her kids so she can go shopping for the morning or have a lunch date with her husband.  Then trade and let her do the same for you.

Leave her a facebook comment or like.  I know Facebook is controversial and a lot of people feel that it sucks too much time away from mothering, but I find that it is a quick and easy way to stay connected to friends.  It can mean the world to a young mom when she gets a quick comment of encouragement or understanding.

Reach out to someone new.  Another great use for social media.  Touch base with another mom that you don’t know very well.  Extend a hand of friendship.  You never know what might come of it!  She may need a friend even more than you do.

Don’t forget your most important earthly friendship, your husband!  It is so easy when you are in the throes of motherhood to let your conversations devolve into, “Guess what, Junior used the potty today!”  Remember what it was like when you were dating and newly married and talked about everything.  What are you interested in besides kids?  What about him?  Make an effort to talk to him about those things.  Send him sweet texts during the day, make time for sex even when you don’t feel like it (yep I said it!), and do fun things with him.  Keep your relationship strong!  It’s one of the best things you can do for your husband, your kids, and yourself!

You may feel too swamped or even depressed to pursue a friendship.  Maybe you have been hurt by others before and you are afraid that will happen again. Honestly, though, just take baby steps–if you keep trying you won’t regret it.  The only important things in life are Jesus and people.  So stay connected to others!

This is part 5 of the Mama Self-Care series.  You can find other posts in the series here:

Part 1: Spiritual Self-Care

Part 2: Taking Care of Our Bodies

Part 3: Creatively Feeding our Souls


I would be thrilled if you would like me on Facebook!


2 thoughts on “Mama Self Care: Relationships

  1. Whoa…I needed to read this today! Not sure if it is pregnancy hormones or what, but lately I’v ebeen struggling with feeling a little isolated and overwhelmed by our larger-than-normal family. Seems like the number of kids we have is a barrier to friendships at times. BUT! That’s a mind set, not truth! And, when I am feeling this way, it’s the absolute PERFECT time to reach out and initiate friendships:)

    Thanks for posting, and for the whole series…loved it!!

  2. Oh I totally understand! I am speaking to myself as much as anyone else. This has been a tough year for us socially. A lot of sickness and other roadblocks to getting together with others. Just today I was thinking it would be fun to get together with someone and one of the littles was up all night with an ear infection. I have just decided to seize the day…Today I will bust my heinie to get the house in order and stuff caught up (as much as my exhaustion will let me LOL), and as soon as they are better we will make plans to get together with others. If we wait for the perfect time it will never happen. Spontaneity is not my strong suit, but I guess I will learn!

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