7 Reasons to Take Your Family to Church Tuesday, Oct 13 2009

1. They will learn how to worship with others.

God loves each of us individually, and the Christian’s entire life should be an act of worship.  In addition, God loves His church as a whole.  In the Bible, He tells us that we should not stop meeting together like some people do.  (Hebrews 10:24-25)  The early church met in a large group setting (the Temple) and in homes (from house to house). (Acts 5:42) We should follow their example!

2. It’s the family of God.

Whether or not you have a good relationship with your family of origin, God’s church provides wonderful “family” relationships.  It’s a place of love and support.

3. You will become a better parent.

If you allow God to grow you spiritually, you will become a better person and that will enable you to raise your children better.  Let’s face it, even the best of us can use help!

4. You will learn how to teach your children about God.

As you learn about God, you will know better how to teach your children about Him.  Some churches offer teaching and training specifically to help parents in this area.

5. What you teach at home will be reinforced by others.

God intends for parents to be the primary spiritual teachers of their children. (Deuteronomy 6:6-7)  However, church provides a place where godly adults reinforce what you teach them at home, whether through informal relationships or organized classes.  Your children see that their parents are not the only ones who have vibrant relationships with Jesus.  The family of God partners with parents in leading children to Christ.

6. They will have godly role models.

I’d rather have real-life godly people for my children to look up to rather than just their peers or celebrities.  Your children will be spiritually inspired both by ordinary Christians who live for Christ, as well as more high-profile Christians such as pastors, teachers, and missionaries.

7. It’s a place to meet friends with similar values.

Growing Christian parents should be raising growing Christian children.  It’s a place for your kids to develop fast friendships with people who are walking the same path and believe the same things.  Throughout life they will always have relationships with people who believe differently, but their close church friends should share the most important thing: a love for Jesus.

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Quiet Wednesday, Oct 7 2009

Hi everybody.  Sorry it’s been so quiet around here when I promised I was back!  It’s been an extra-busy season of life lately, and one where I feel a little bit as if I’m in a learning phase, more than a sharing phase.  The rest of the week promises to be full, but I hope to get back to my regular posting schedule next week…Tuesday/Thursday/weekend.  I’m hoping for a few contemplative moments over the next few days to come up with some good topics.  Suggestions?  What would you like to see at Reviving Motherhood?

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Encouragement Friday, Sep 18 2009

If you need a good dose of encouragement, check out Ann Voskamp’s beautiful blog, Holy Experience.  Ann is gifted…her blog is filled with amazing photography and deep, gentle, words of encouragement.  She wrote just what I needed to hear today…brought tears to my eyes.  I hope you find her words encouraging too.

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Taking a Short Break Sunday, Sep 6 2009

I’m taking a few days away from the computer to enjoy my family.  See you soon!

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Renovation of the Heart Sunday, Sep 6 2009

I know it’s important for me to grow spiritually, but being a mom drives that point home continuously.  There’s nothing like children to squeeze out a parents’ true character and reveal our greatest flaws.  Being a mom keeps me on my knees, not only for my children, but for myself.

We know that spiritual growth occurs when we stay close to God, praying and reading His Word, the Bible.  But sometimes it’s hard to know just how to appropriate the truths of God’s Word to bring transformation to our lives.  Today I’m reviewing a book that’s been very helpful to me in my spiritual growth, especially in the area of heart/life change.

Several years ago I read Renovation of the Heart by Dallas Willard. It’s one of the top 10 books I’ve ever read, right up there with Mere Christianity and other great classics of the faith. (Billy said once that this book has impacted him more than any other book he’s read except the Bible.) This was for several reasons. One, it spoke to issues dear to my heart: namely Christian growth into Christlikeness and our ability to change because of Christ. I’ve always used the Christianese term “victorious Christian living” and others have referred to it as “tearing down strongholds”–but Dr. Willard uses the accurate term “spiritual formation”. Our souls are all spiritually formed, the question is, by what? Are we formed into Christlikeness? Can we change? How?

Other things I love about this book are that Dr. Willard speaks with authority yet humility, and that he writes without falling into the tired old “Christian insider” language that so many writers, speakers, and ordinary Christians do (and I include myself here). Dr. Willard is respected across the spectrum of Christianity from those who’d consider themselves fairly liberal to the very conservative. It’s not an easy read. I’m a fast reader, and it took me a couple months to wade through and digest it. But it was well worth all the effort.

Central to Dr. Willard’s philosophy of Christian spiritual formation is the acronym VIM: Vision, Intention, and Means.  I have already given my life to Christ.  From there, in order to become properly spiritually formed, I first must have a vision for where I want to go, a mental picture of what life will look like when I am conformed to Christ’s image. Then I must make up my mind to do it, no matter what kind of hard work I must engage in to get there. I must set myself on a path of growth by the grace of God. I must intend to do it. And finally, I must recognize and exercise the means by which this change and growth will take place. This will be somewhat different for each person, but it might include certain spiritual disciplines, such as prayer, solitude, fasting, and journaling; reading biographies of great Christians who lived in ways that characterize the Christian graces I lack; time spent in the presence of Christ-followers who are farther down the road of formation than I am; spiritual retreat; and a host of other possibilities. Ultimately, spiritual formation happens when we raise the white flag of surrender over our lives. In fact, the white flag is on the cover of Renovation of the Heart. Commitment, Dr. Willard says, leaves us in control. Surrender acknowledges that we are giving control to a power higher than ourselves.

Dr. Willard, who teaches philosophy at USC as a missionary to the academic community, has been called today’s C.S. Lewis. Billy had the privilege of interviewing him a couple of years ago when we went to California. Billy said that far more than just the information Dr. Willard shared with him, he learned from his presence. He was impressed especially by the genuine aura of Christian grace in Dr. Willard’s life. It’s a presence that can’t be faked, but must come from true apprenticeship to Jesus. Knowing that Dr. Willard’s message is personally evident in his life, rather than just being so much information in black and white, gives even more credence to this great work.

There’s also a video curriculum for Renovation of the Heart, which is excellent too. Sometimes it’s helpful to participate in the video study first to get on overview of the principles of spiritual formation, and then read the book later if you desire to dig deeper. Unless you’re one who loves to read and finds philosophical and theological works fun, it would be easy to get bogged down by the book at first glance. I know, personally, that I benefited from re-reading the book once I had that overview. There is also a simplified version of Renovation available called Reformation of Character, as well as a Renovation of the Heart for students. (I’m not usually a fan of “for teen” editions but in this case it was probably prudent.)

I said all that to encourage anyone to explore the idea of spiritual formation, and especially to check into the book, study, or other resources that have stemmed from Renovation of the Heart. These works have been and continue to be amazing tools in my spiritual growth. I’m happy to recommend them without reservation.

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How Long Should I Breastfeed? Part 2 Thursday, Sep 3 2009

My Titus 2 mentors aren’t celebrities.  Most of them are moms in the trenches just like me, godly ladies who are farther down the mothering road than I am.  I’ve written before about my friend Jenny.  She’s a mom of 8 children, some of whom are nearly as old as I am.  When I got pregnant with Elizabeth she called me just to congratulate and encourage me.  What a surprise!  Until that point I had mainly thought of her as my mom’s friend, but that phone call changed my life and cemented our friendship.

Her advice particularly impacted my mothering style.  Before that I had some vague notions about mothering but I didn’t have a lot of concrete goals, especially for the infant stage.  Jenny talked to me about preparing for birth, nutrition, responding to and nurturing my baby, and breastfeeding.  Her advice to try to breastfeed for two years took me a little by surprise.  “Baby’s brain is growing so fast until age two,” she explained.  “And breast milk is the perfect brain food!”  Until then I hadn’t given much thought to how long I would nurse my babies.  A year?  Eighteen months?  I had no idea.  This made sense and gave me a goal to shoot for.

I have to admit that I was the odd girl out among my friends.  Most of them didn’t breastfeed at all, let alone for longer than a year.  And that was fine.  I certainly didn’t (and don’t) judge or criticize them for that, but I was definitely alone in the breastfeeding department.

All the same, I am so glad that I took my wise friend’s advice and aimed for that two-year mark!  I soon learned that many experts agree, breastfeeding past one year is fine for baby and may even confer great benefits.  I found it interesting that Jenny’s rule of thumb was being backed up by medical professionals.  (There are a plethora of studies that have discovered the many benefits of breastfeeding to both baby and mom.)

Personally, I can say that breastfeeding longer than average has benefited my children enormously, especially in the area of immunity.  Elizabeth caught her first virus just weeks after I weaned her.  Our one-time pediatrician (himself a father of eight) concurred that in his observation, it made all the difference in the strength of a small child’s immune system.

Breastfeeding until a certain age is certainly not an issue of right or wrong.  When you choose to wean is not something I’d criticize anyone for. I believe God leads each of us differently in our mothering, and the important thing is to be sensitive to Him, even in something as basic as how to feed our children.

I just share my Jenny story just to encourage you: If you have considered breastfeeding past age 1, it’s OK.  Go right ahead.  Not only will it not hurt anything (even the AAP explicitly states so) but it will probably be beneficial to your little one.  It’s fine to nurse for both nutrition and comfort.  In the Bible, Isaiah 66:10-13 makes reference to a mother nursing her child for comfort: “Rejoice with Jerusalem and be glad for her, all you who love her; rejoice greatly with her, all you who mourn over her.  For you will nurse and be satisfied at her comforting breasts; you will drink deeply and delight in her overflowing abundance.”  For this is what the LORD says: “I will extend peace to her like a river, and the wealth of nations like a flooding stream; you will nurse and be carried on her arm and dandled on her knees.  As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.”

It might cause a raised eyebrow or two, but remember that whether you are able to breastfeed for just a little while or whether you choose to go for longer than your friends, what’s important is that you are doing what you believe is best for your baby.  Nourish with confidence!

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Boosting Your Immune System Wednesday, Sep 2 2009

I don’t normally post on Wednesdays, but there is sooooooo much sickness going around that I thought I’d pop in to offer a roundup of thoughts on avoiding sickness, and flu in particular.  Obviously this isn’t to be taken as medical advice; I’m just sharing a few things I’ve found helpful to me.  Do your own research and act accordingly.

In The Vaccine Book, Dr. Robert Sears gives this list of tips for boosting your child’s immune system:

1. Breastfeed

2. Minimize sugar and junk food

3. Minimize other chemical exposures (especially in foods)

4. Use omega-3 oil supplements

5. Give your child a probiotic supplement

6. Fruits and vegetables

7. Vitamin A

8. Vitamin C

Here are some other helpful posts and articles:

10 Tips for Building Your Immune System

Canada Looks at Vitamin D for Swine Flu Protection

More Evidence That Vitamin D Beats the Flu

Which is interesting, considering this CNN report that 70% of American children are vitamin D deficient.

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How Long Should I Breastfeed? Part 1 Tuesday, Sep 1 2009

Note:  This isn’t a diatribe against people who can’t/don’t breastfeed or those  who don’t breastfeed for a full  year.  No judgment here! It’s directed toward moms who haven’t decided how long to breastfeed or who have committed to do so at least till the one-year mark and wonder what comes next.

Recently a first-time-mom friend asked me about how long to breastfeed.  Interesting, because I had just been thinking about writing something along those lines.

The main question some moms seem to have is that they plan to wean at one year, but their babies still seems very attached.  They wonder: Is it OK to breastfeed past the first birthday?

The short answer is yes.  Not only is it OK, it’s probably quite beneficial to baby.  Many babies just aren’t ready to wean at 12 months.  In its most recent breastfeeding guidelines, the American Association of Pediatrics says:

“Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother, especially in delaying return of fertility (thereby promoting optimal intervals between births).

There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer.”

Here’s what the World Health Organization recommends:

“Exclusive breastfeeding is recommended up to 6 months of age, with continued breastfeeding along with appropriate complementary foods up to two years of age or beyond.”

In The Vaccine Book, Dr. Robert Sears (of the well-respected Sears family of pediatricians) says:

“If you are breastfeeding, plan to do so for a minimum of one year.  Two years is better.  Not only will your baby catch fewer illnesses, but her immune system may be better equipped to handle vaccines.”

So if you’ve ever wondered, experts agree that breastfeeding longer than one year is just fine, even to be encouraged.  If you choose to wean at 12 months, good for you for making it to that point!  But if you choose to continue, go for it!

Look for part 2, the story of my mom mentor Jenny who gave me wonderful breastfeeding advice!

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Good Books for Boys and Girls Thursday, Aug 27 2009

Recently my friend Joni asked about good books for little boys.  Oh my, this is a favorite subject!  I have thought about doing a whole post just on how to shop for used books!  I’m addicted.

I have been scratching out a short list of favorite books for boys and girls.  Of course there is a lot of overlap.  Girls will probably enjoy most books on the boy list, and boys will undoubtedly enjoy many books on the girl list.  But this is roughly divided into “boy” and “girl” books.

I’ve loosely listed them by age, starting with easy readers and moving to read-alouds (if your children are young or not proficient readers).  This is just a sampling of some of our favorite books.  I will add to the list as I think of more.  Sorry, I didn’t have time to look up every author or link to a place to buy each book.  Google for more info.

NOTE: This does not include preschool books, necessarily.  That would be a whole different post!

Books for Boys

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Snipp Snapp and Snurr series by Maj Lindham

Books by Thornton W. Burgess

Eddie books by Caroline Haywood

Peter and Penny books by Caroline Haywood

Hank the Cowdog series

Non-fiction books about ships, animals, tractors, military, sports, historical eras, cowboys, Scout guides…even if they are not in scouts…whatever.  A popular one here is Great Disasters of the World…go figure…My 6 year old would rather read about real-life stuff than fiction any day.

Dinosaur books, especially those from the Answers in Genesis

Books by EB White, especially Stuart Little and Trumpet of the Swan

Owls in the Family by Farley Mowatt

The Cricket in Times Square

Dangerous Book for Boys

The Sign of the Beaver

Ivan series by Myrna Grant (about a Christian family in Russia under communism…out of print…look on Amazon)

Little Britches series (These contain some mild cussing I think, and possibly some slightly more mature themes.  Pre-reading recommended.)

Johnny Tremaine by Esther Forbes

The Hobbit by JRR Tolkein (and for older boys, The Lord of the Rings trilogy)

I believe the old Hardy Boys books are OK…someone correct me if I’m wrong

I have heard great things about GA Henty’s historical novels for boys, but I have never read them myself.

Missionary biographies (Brother Andrew, Nate Saint, Hudson Taylor, etc.)  These are typically adventurous and so character-building!

Biographies of great Americans (Sower series, If You Grew Up With series and others)

Books for Girls

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Flicka Ricka and Dicka series (picture books with engaging text) by Maj Lindham

Five Little Peppers series

Happy Little Family series by Rebecca Caudill  (LOVE these!)

Little House on the Prairie series by Laura Ingalls Wilder

Bobbsey Twins series

Betsy series by Caroline Haywood

American Girl books (pre-reading recommended)

Anne of Green Gables

The Secret Garden

A Little Princess

Missionary Biographies (Gladys Ayleward, Amy Carmichael, Elisabeth Elliot and others)

Biographies of historical figures

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Rest Tuesday, Aug 25 2009

Rest is spiritual.  In our culture it’s unpopular.  Getting adequate rest, admitting that you sleep 8 or 9 hours per night or that you took a nap is often viewed as lazy.  Even in Christian circles, he who works the longest without a break is often considered the most godly.  (I’m not talking about people who actually have a low sleep need.  Some people are like that.  Not me.)  Nevertheless, we must remember that even God (who doesn’t need anything) rested after He created the World, and He ordained Sabbath rest.

This week I received my new copy of Notes from Toad Hall.  The writings of Margie Haack and her husband Denis have had  a profound impact on my spiritual journey, especially in terms of how I view people outside Christianity—even when I disagree with their viewpoint they make me think.  I so appreciated Margie’s thoughts in this issue.  She quotes Professor David Nelson:

[O]ur theological reflection (in the sense of reflection upon God) should lead us to recognize that God himself has not chosen to accomplish everything in one day, one week, month or year.  Not only does God’s creative work occur over time, but His providential work of bringing all things to His good end occurs over millennia.  Since God Himself does not accomplish all his purposes in one day, it seems odd that His people might fret, forsake rest, and live disordered lives to do what God Himself has chosen not to do.  What God could do, He does not, and what we cannot do, we attempt to do, to our own detriment.

Margie then adds, “This rhythm of work and rest that Nelson writes about is rooted in creation and presupposes that what we do in an ordinary, everyday way is ordained and blessed by God, which applies to all sorts of vocations—not just religious or missionary callings.  God not only grants us the freedom to do nothing visibly useful at times, he insists on it.  He desires us to trust that our resting accomplishes his purposes even when closure looks way overdue and our path looks grim.”

Dallas Willard, whom Billy was privileged to interview a few years ago, told my husband this:  He gives a yearly 2-week spiritual retreat to students at a large seminary.  One of the retreat requirements is that the participants stay in bed for 10 hours each night.  Can you imagine?  Enough sleep over a two week period would make a new person out of anyone!

Jen at Conversion Diary (a mother of 4 very small children) shared once about her struggles to focus during prayer.  When she discussed it with her spiritual director, the director told her to get more sleep.  Sometimes there is a simple physical answer to what we view as a complex spiritual problem.  Exhaustion can make us not only unable to focus, but can leave us more vulnerable to temptations…the temptation to fear, to yell at our kids, to neglect our husbands, to let our thought life grow up in weeds…because we just feel too weary to fight.  That’s not to say that we won’t be tired at times; neither is it an excuse to sin when we are…But when possible, getting enough rest can have a bring incredible spiritual benefit, even if it means leaving some things undone.

That’s hard for us mothers   Remember the old saying, “A man may work from sun to sun, but mother’s work is never done”?   I for one am frequently tempted to operate out of frustration over all that’s not getting done.  I forget to consult God about what His agenda might be for my day, his calling, rather than what I think I should accomplish.  For our own good and the good of our families, sometimes we must leave things as they are and simply rest in God, knowing that He will give us grace and time to finish what He has required of us, rather than collapsing under the heavy burdens we lay on ourselves.

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