An Honest Stream of Consciousness

This Is The Way We Wash Our Clothes by George Dunlop Leslie

Hello friends, do you mind a little rambling stream of consciousness today?

I was standing in my disastrous kitchen a bit ago, cutting up acorn squash and thinking about this neglected space.  We went on vacation and came home sick.  Just as vacation didn’t look like I thought it would, my blog doesn’t and my days typically don’t either…try as I might…In my mind, today we would have awakened to a tidy house, everyone would have quickly dressed and eaten, and we would have joyfully gathered at the table for a delightful Bible study and lessons as the baby and preschooler played quietly.  Ha!  Not even!

Instead, I woke up stiff and a little chilly, on the couch where I had spent most of the night with a feverish, restless little one.  Got up and packed my husband’s lunch and scrambled eggs for all of us.  Washed the giant stock pot I didn’t have time to wash last night and got beef bones started for stock.

Told the kids that yes, they could watch an episode of Mythbusters if they first watched the 8’s multiplication table on School House Rock five times.  Got the baby to play for a few minutes while I got a shower, finally.  Helped my tender-scalped youngster with her hair.  Gave sinus and back rubs and dispensed remedies to the sick ones.

Scrambled two more eggs for the 4 year old since we had eaten everything from earlier and she was still hungry.   Rewashed the laundry that didn’t get put in the dryer last night.  Helped the 7-year-old write a letter to her friend.  Looked for poison ivy medicine for the 9-year-old and came up empty.

Nursed sick baby.  Tried to put him to bed but he woke and screamed.  Nursed and rocked some more while my preteen chattered about friends and boys.  Peeked at facebook a couple times in there somewhere, and drank a couple glasses of iced coffee milk to stay awake.  There is a proper name for it?  An iced latte?

Blew out a fake candle and “ate” a play doh cupcake that the preschooler made for my “birthday.”  (Thank you, Jesus, for play-doh!)  Gave up on fixing my hair and threw it up in a bun.  Tried compensate with my favorite earrings.

Added meat to the stock.  In the midst of the kitchen that wasn’t fully cleaned from last night or breakfast this morning, I made a new recipe for Moroccan Mash (modified from here) because a) clearly I am insane, b) it sounded really good, c) I had two butternut squashes that needed to be used, and d) there was nothing else in the house for lunch.  To my surprise, the kids loved it.  So did I!  Maybe I am not entirely insane after all.

So all that chaos and pandemonium and the day is only half over.  I still haven’t read my Bible or put on makeup or made my bed or cleaned the bathrooms or switched out the laundry or dressed the preschooler or put chickens on the stove for soup.  All things that should have been done hours ago.  And as for homeschool, it’s officially a sick day.

And as soon as I got up from finishing that last sentence, the kids told me that the dog pooped in the girls’ bedroom.  And then I had to break up a knock down drag out fight mediate sibling rivalry.

Did I mention that I am sick along with everyone else?  Not as bad as they are, but I keep forgetting to get something for my headache.

I know it’s been said before, but you know, blogging can make everyone else’s life look perfect.  And I know I only have about 2 readers compared to the superbloggers, but still I worry that even as I try to be transparent, I come across as having it all together.

I thought about posting an honest picture of the state of my kitchen, but I decided not to because people can be judgy.  Not you.  Just…people.  You know.  And besides, it really does defy belief.  You know those bloggers whose homes always appear to be in perfect order, and then they post an “honest” picture.  You know the one where they say, “But I want to be honest with you, sometimes my house looks like THIS!  OH THE HORROR!” and there are 3 socks on the floor and a couch cushion is crooked?  Yeah.  That is not the kind of “honest” picture you would get from me.  You don’t want to see it, trust me.

Anyway, I hope this does not sound like complaining because it’s not.   The whole point of this sleep deprived stream of consciousness ramble is, often we don’t have it together, or at least I don’t.  We have rough days or weeks or heck, even rough years.  Honestly, “together” days happen here about, oh, once in a blue moon.  Stars align and angels sing.   If you are more organized than I am (and I am pretty sure most of you are), then that is great, and I say that with all sincerity. Although this day is even less cohesive than usual, I’m not even close to having it together–so my dear sweet friends, if you have ever felt inadequate because of something I wrote, never fear.  I am just a disaster, doing the best I can, trying to remember to rest in God’s grace and help.

And when it comes down to it, that is all we have, really, isn’t it?  Just Jesus.  Our Friend and Helper.   He saves us and He guides us and He helps us.  Right in the midst of the mess, He meets us.  He enables us to somehow touch others, even if today those others are just our own needy little ones.  He is enough.  Today, even if it’s in the midst of chaos, may you feel His presence and His peace!

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Wrote this a few days ago–see, I can’t even manage to write and publish a post on the same day!   And if you got this far, I hope it makes sense to someone besides my own fuzzy, sleep deprived brain!

Mama Self Care: Creatively Feeding our Souls

I find that so often mamas neglect the special gifts and passions God has given them, the things that make them uniquely THEM.   God has made us body, soul, and spirit, and He wants us to take care of all of those parts of ourselves.   These creative things sometimes seem so unimportant in light of the urgencies of daily life with little kids.  But I’ve noticed—when we don’t cultivate those special creative gifts He’s given us, we kind of wither inside.

That’s not to say that we should express creativity at the cost of our families, but there are ways to flourish in the small moments!

I believe as people made in the image of God, we are all creative in some area.  For me it is writing, making things, and maybe art?  (Something new I am exploring.)  For you, it might be cooking, event planning, decorating, organizing, serving others, or any number of other things.  Don’t get bogged down in what you can’t do.  Just do what you can.  Find simple expressions of your passions.  At risk of sounding like I have this all figured out, because I so do not!—here are a few ways I am incorporating soul-nourishing passions into daily life.

Write for just 15 minutes before the kids get up.  It’s not much.  One mom I read recently said, “I don’t have the luxury of writer’s block.”  Seriously, that is so true.  I hammer something out and it may or may not be good.  But at least I am writing!

Very, very simple craft projects.  I have a super simple brainless knitted dish cloth pattern that I have done while I school the kids or sit in a waiting room.  It would be nice to make a sweater or a pair of socks, but sister, that ain’t happening right now!  Sometimes I sew pillow covers.  Straight lines that take about 5 minutes.  That kind of thing.

A little art here and there.  I nature journal with the kids.  I stapled together a few pieces of paper for a mini sketch book and put it in my purse.  Experts say “Are you sketching every day?”  Well, no.  That would be nice.  Maybe one day.  But just because I am not sketching EVERY DAY, I am not going to let that discourage me from sketching AT ALL.  And every now and then, I just push aside the mess on the table and pull out my watercolors.  Now that is fun!

Maybe you take one photo a day, plan a simple tea for a friend, or paint one wall of one room. Maybe you just organize one drawer.

These are ways to slip a little creativity, a little passion, into our daily lives.  It may not be the perfect ideal we have in our heads, but those tiny moments can make such a difference in how we feel emotionally.

So: How are you going to incorporate a simple bit of creativity into your life today?

Mama Self-Care: Our Bodies

{pinterest}

All the information out there about how to be healthy and attractive is just overwhelming.  Sometimes so overwhelming that we just don’t do anything because it’s all too much and we end up unshowered in holey lounge pants and a greasy ponytail.  We CAN take care of ourselves WITHOUT too much time or effort!

I want to divide this little post into a couple different sections.

First, the outside.  In my opinion, it gives moms a big lift to feel pretty.  It’s good for our kids to see us taking care of ourselves and our husbands appreciate it too!  This doesn’t have to be expensive or time consuming. 

Hygeine.  Shower daily, even if it’s a 2-minute shower.  It is OK if baby cries for just a few little minutes while you clean up, and this is coming from a mama who doesn’t let babies cry!  Since you are taking that 2 minute shower, keep a razor in there to give your legs a super-fast shave while you are at it!  Seriously, it takes seconds and if you do it every day you can get any spots you missed the next time around!

{Hannah from Cultivating Home has such great, practical mom style!}

Clothes. Jeans and a cute t-shirt are just as easy to put on as sweats.  It is so hot here, and I am not a shorts kind of girl, so I’ve been collecting some little skirts and dresses that are easy to throw on with ballet flats or sandals.  {Side note: Flats are especially nice when you don’t have time to keep your nails done!}  Target usually has inexpensive jersey a-line skirts that flatter just about everyone.  Cute and easy.  Some of us (coughmecough) have a few pounds of baby weight hanging around.  Don’t let this stop you from buying some cothes that FIT (I got most of my stuff from between 50 cents and $5 at the thrift store) and wearing cute stuff!

Makeup. You don’t have to choose between a full face OR no makeup.  Why not just a bit of concealer, a touch of eye makeup and some gloss?  It only takes a  couple minutes to really brighten up your face!

Accessories. I am a huge believer in cute dangly earrings!  Even on the busiest day, it only takes 2 seconds to add earrings.  There is something about earrings or other simple accessories that give off an “I care” vibe.  I’m no expert on accessorizing, but I have noticed that statement accessories, like big earrings or chunky bracelets pack a big punch without being fussy.

Hair. Can we get out of the pony tail rut (I suggest as I sit here in a pony tail)?  Jen has been doing a series on simple hair styles that go beyond the pony.  Some of them take hardly any time at all.  It’s nice to take time to do your hair all the way sometimes, and I try to do this a few times a week in the winter, but in the summer it’s just too hot.  I have enjoyed learning creative ways to branch out!

So in 10 minutes or less, we can get out of that frumpy rut that moms so easily fall into, and look cute for the whole day!  Trust me, I am a novice in the looking-nice department compared to most girls, so if I can make some effort, anyone can!

{pinterest}

Now let’s talk about health.  There is so much conflicting health advice out there, and it can all seem overwhelming!  We all know we should eat more whole foods, exercise, and drink water.  But this does not have to mean going to the gym and paying a gazillion bucks for perfect food (although that is good if you can do it).  Start with baby steps and you will be amazed at how quickly the small changes add up.  Play outside with your kids.  Put baby in the stroller and walk around the block.  Eat fruit, a hard boiled egg, or a handful of nuts for a snack instead of chips or cookies.  Measure out your water first thing in the morning and keep it in a pitcher on the counter or the fridge.  Go to bed a few minutes earlier.  Once those things come naturally, let yourself think about another small change to implement.  And that’s all I will say about that.  When we are just barely able to fall out of bed in the morning, there is no point in piling on the guilt if we can’t make the BEST choices today for our health.  Let’s focus on just making BETTER choices and one day we will probably find that we have worked up to the BEST!

So go for it, mama!  Pull out that cute, comfy skirt that you only wear on Sunday, throw on 5-minute makeup and some earrings, pour a tall glass of water, and have a great day!

Mama Self-Care: Spiritual (No Condemnation!)

~Philip Hale~

Sorry for the spotty posting.  Life gets in the way sometimes.  I’m kicking off a season of more regular writing (hopefully!)  with something new.

I’ve heard it said that we moms need to take care of ourselves first or we won’t have any strength to take care of our families.  You know what, it’s true.  But how easy it is to give ourselves the leftovers when the urgencies of family life demand our attention!  I’m starting a little series on Mama Self-Care, easy ways to help us moms take care of us so that we are able to take care of those placed under our care.

The first and most important way we need to care for ourselves is spiritually.  If we aren’t filled spiritually, then all the other self-care we do won’t make that much difference.

~via pinterest~

But listen.  If those first sentences gave you a stab of condemnation or guilt, don’t let them.  We serve a God of grace and freedom who understands our weakness and is loving and gentle with us.  I love Isaiah 40:11 from the Bible: “He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.”

A friend told me not long ago about a women’s conference she attended where one of the speakers, a well-known Bible teacher, harshly judged young mothers who struggle to find time for “serious Bible study.”  There are many reasons that this rubbed me the wrong way, not the least of which are that this teacher had only two children (not dissing those of you with two, but the honest truth is that logistically things were much easier when I had two than when I have five), and that her young mom days have been over for about 40 years.  There is a season for everything and we should not let the drains of motherhood make us feel condemned if we cannot have the kind of quiet time or Bible study someone else—who has never walked in our shoes—says that we should.  God sees our hearts.  I know, I just commited Evangelical treason with those statements.  I am not saying that we should not spend time with God, but simply that we should find a way to configure it to the realities of this very intense time of life.

I do have a set time for prayer early in the morning.  I don’t want to set an alarm that will wake the babies, so I have asked God to wake me up on time and virtually every day, he does.  I pray while I lay in bed (if I can trust myself not to go back to sleep), while I feed the baby, or while I make my bed.  This is not my ideal, but it is better than nothing.  If you are offended, I am sorry.  I think Jesus would rather I talk to him during those times than skip it because the circumstances are not perfect.

The rest of my Jesus time requires more creativity, since my early risers are up shortly afterward.  I read the Bible on my iPod touch (yes, I am behind the times, I don’t have a smart phone) while I nurse the little one, put on the audio version of Psalms or the Gospels while I am in the kitchen, pray throughout the day.  I read Bible stories to the kids and pray with them.  We pray in the car before we pull out of the driveway.  I think about what I have read or heard as I wash dishes or fold laundry.

~Renoir~

There are lots of other creative ways to make our relationship with God a lifestyle, not just a time set apart from the rest of my day.  Leave a Bible open by the rocking chair or in the bathroom, listen to worship music and sing along, teach the kids old hymns, write scripture on a card and place it in the window sill, the mirror, or the dashboard of your car.  And I encourage you, don’t neglect church.  It is so easy to do when we are so very tired.  I have missed more church in the past months than I have in years.  When you have 5 kids, the odds of someone being sick or indisposed during the winter increase a lot.  But if it is possibly in my power, I go.  It might mean jeans and a ponytail, but I am always so happy that I made the effort, even if it was a struggle to get out the door.  Worshiping with other Christians is essential.

All this is to say: Make the effort to feed yourself spiritually, and don’t let perfectionism keep you from your relationship with Jesus.  Run to him!  He hears you when you are scrubbing potties just as well as when you are kneeling at an altar.  Maybe the bathroom is really what he had in mind when he talked about going to your “closet” to pray! 

A Prescription for Tired Hearts

Our hearts were tired yesterday.

It’s been one of those weeks.  Nothing tragic, just recurring struggles magnified in the lives of some of the littles.  Struggles that bring stress to us all.  Mama, Daddy, babies.

Sometimes we just need a down day for our weary souls to rest and recover.

I try not to make this blog too homeschool-centric, but I have to say—this is what I love about homeschooling.  In an ordinary setting, the littles would be rushed off to school like any other day, but instead…

Our exhausted one sleeps in.  We move slowly through the day.  Our regular seat work is suspended and we fill our time with documentaries, The Magic School Bus, play doh, drawing, quiet learning games, library books.  I wear the one-year-old who has been a bit short on snuggle time during the past couple tumultuous days.  He falls asleep against me and the Ergo carries his sweet, sleeping, heavy little body on my chest as I go about my work.  It forces me to slow down.  Solo piano station on Pandora.  Encouraging reading.  Nourishing food.  Rest.

 And it’s a beautiful, healing day.

~Linking to Simple Lives Thursday~

For the Children’s Sake Friday: March 16, 2012

“If we have any insight at all, we will quickly identify the fact that Christians begin from a very different starting point when thinking about education.  It is not merely a question of what we want to teach, who teaches it, or what exactly is right or wrong.  It is deeper.  We speak of who the human being is.  We do not have to achieve anything to earn self-worth; we know that the person is a creature of this planet into whom God breathed the spirit of personality.  Yes, we are created having that within ourselves which is so unique that God could say,” ‘Let us make man in our own image; male and female created He them.” “

~ For the Children’s Sake by Susan Schaeffer Macaulay, ch. 2

Candy Free Easter Basket Ideas

On my Facebook, I asked for ideas for candy-free Easter basket fillers–just for myself.  The ideas from my friends were so good, I am passing them on to you!

stickers

pencils

water bottles

games

seeds

puzzles

books

lotions

soaps

jewelry

disposable cameras

journals

bubbles

coloring books

fruit

a small toy

yo-yos

jump ropes

marbles

jacks

nail polish

sidewalk chalk

play doh

nuts

laughing cow cheeses

goldfish crackers

fruit leather

change in different amounts

bug boxes

devotional

movies

art supplies

a kite

beach towels and swim suits

silly putty

slinky

Don’t I have smart friends?

Blueberry Baked Oatmeal for a Crowd

Blueberry Baked Oatmeal

6 eggs

1/2 c. honey

1 can coconut milk plus 1 1/2 c. water OR 3 c. whole milk

6 c. old fashioned oatmeal

1 t. baking soda

1/2 t. salt

1/2 t. vanilla

1-2 c. blueberries, fresh or frozen

Mix wet ingredients well, then add and stir dry ingredients.  Gently fold in blueberries.  Pour into oiled 9X13″ glass baking dish and bake at 350 degrees for around 35 minutes.  Enjoy with extra honey and cream!

For the Children’s Sake Friday 3-9-12

“Get to know a child.  It may be your own or somebody else’s.  Don’t think of it as either a menial or a professional task.  Do it for its own sake.  I can assure you, the child will bring more to you than you can bring to him or to her.  A child can be the very best friends in all the world.  They are so responsive.  Their minds are challenging and wonderfully surprising.

Get a few really good books, and read them together aloud.  Set aside a good regular chunk of time.  This will be one of the most rewarding and stimulating relationships in your life.  Guess what?  If you have the courage to be honest, that youngster’s comments and questions are really going to make you think, think hard.  You can throw away all the manuals.  That child has an awful lot to teach you.  Your mind is probably in a worse state than his. After reading together, go to a really nice place outside for a couple of hours at least.  Don’t rush.  Turn a rock over and watch the beetles run away.  Throw rocks in the stream and slide down a hill.

Talk together.

Relax.

It isn’t all as hard as the experts make out.  We are human beings, persons, created to live.  To have life more abundantly.  Wonder together; grow together.  Together share the struggles of knowing that we cannot perfectly follow God’s law.  We are fellow-pilgrims.  We walk side by side as human beings under the love and authority of Him who made us.”

~For the Children’s Sake by Susan Schaeffer Macaulay, ch. 2

Not an Expert

Recently I had the opportunity to write for a local parenting magazine.  My editor asked me to write “how to” pieces.  I was pretty thrilled for the opportunity, especially since this is my first paying gig, but I had to laugh a little bit too.  “This makes me sound like a total expert,” I told my husband—and we laughed together.  Because I am a mom in the trenches and most days I feel like I don’t have a clue.  I may be able to give some ideas about how to help your kids eat more healthfully or how to read aloud, but here are a few topics I will probably NEVER cover.

How to Keep a Tidy House

How to Make Your Kids Stop Fighting

How to Teach Your Children to Write Thank You Notes (I just cringe at how bad I am at this.)

How to Keep Your Three Year Old From Cutting Her Own Hair

How to Raise Musical Children

How to Teach Your Kids to Clean Up After Themselves

How to Have a Serene Home With Toddlers

How to Have a Great Bedtime Routine

How to Create a Perfect Schedule

How to Teach Your Children Not to Write on the Walls

How to Throw a Great Birthday Party

How to Have a Beautiful Yard with Kids

There ya go.  That’s just scratching the surface of the lamer side of my mothering.  I don’t do it all.  I can’t.  I do my best and lean on the grace of God, and just a tiny bit at a time I learn a lesson here or there that’s worth passing on.  Hopefully my kids will forgive me where I lack, and hopefully I will grow in those areas.  But an expert?  Maybe when I’m old and gray!  If expert advice is what you want, check back in 40 years!