A Mother’s Spiritual Impact Saturday, Nov 14 2009 

mother son writing

 

“It is my conviction that many mothers will occupy a higher position in God’s kingdom than many prominent Christian leaders whom we might expect to find in places of greater honor.  Think of some of the great men of the Bible like Moses, Samuel, and Timothy.  Where would they have been had it not been for their praying, Spirit-led mothers?  Think of Augustine, John Newton, and the zealous Wesleys; their names might never have lighted the pages of history had it not been for the blessed influence of godly mothers!

 

The simple prayers from our infant lips were but echoes from our mother’s heart.  Can we ever forget the soft caresses of those hands of blessing on our heads as we knelt by our beds?  Can we fail to remember her night vigils, her seasons of intercession, her well-marked Bible, and her words of admonition?  Her actions spoke eloquently of Him who taught us of the greater love of God.

 

What a tragedy to neglect the counsel of a godly mother!  What eternal consequences to reject her God…’Do not forsake the law of your mother’ (Prov. 1:8)” ~Henry G. Bosch

Heavenly Marriage: Respect Monday, Nov 9 2009 

woman waving goodbye

It’s been awhile since I posted anything about marriage, mainly because it’s a touchy subject and I’m chicken!  Jumping in where angels fear to tread… Remember, the best thing you can do for your kids is have a good marriage!

In his book His Needs Her Needs, William F. Harley names respect as one of a man’s top 5 basic needs in marriage.  The Bible concurs.  Ephesians 5: 33 says, “…let the wife see that she respects her husband.”  I’ve listened to a lot of wise ladies through the years who have given me good advice about how to be married.  I thought I’d scratch down a few things they’ve told me about respect.

Even if your husband isn’t an honorable person, it’s possible to respect his position.  But most of us aren’t married to real scoundrels.  Most of us are married to imperfect people just like us.  And in spite of whatever flaw you might see in your husband, in most cases there is also much to admire and respect.

So…

DO look for the best in him.

DO compliment him about absolutely anything you can, even if it’s as mundane as his crack shot or how well he takes care of the truck.

DO brag on his strengths to others, including in his hearing or when you know it could get back to him.

DO support his judgment and decisions. If you disagree, be pleasant about it and let him know you’ll ultimately support whatever he feels is best.  Be willing to lay aside your better judgment, even if it means he makes a mistake.  If he does make a mistake, don’t rub his face in it.  We girls make mistakes; it’s not the end of the world if our men do too.  (Obviously we aren’t talking about immoral, illegal, or abusive activities.)

DO show a united front in front of the kids. Don’t question his decisions in front of them.

DO support his interactions with the children. Resist the urge to “rescue” them from him even if you feel he’s being a bit unfair.  If you have concerns about how he’s interacting with them, discuss it privately, not in their hearing.  (I know, it’s hard!  You can do it!)

DON’T run your husband down in public (even little “joking” remarks).

DON’T complain about him to your mom, sister, or best friend.  You’ll forget, but they won’t.

DON’T look for the worst. If you look for the worst, you will find it.

DON’T be critical and nit-picky. Ask yourself: Will this matter 100  years from now?

DON’T compare him to others, including your dad or some guy in your office.

DON’T let yourself think of him as stupid or fall prey to the idea that men are imbeciles who need women to tell them what to do.  (Warning: If you find yourself rolling your eyes and saying, “Men!” a lot, that’s a good clue that you’ve fallen into this.)

DON’T boss him.

Related:  Heavenly Marriage: Sex

So You’re Thinking of Homeschooling Monday, Nov 2 2009 

mother reading children jwsmith

I’ve had this feeling over the past few weeks that I need to do a post on homeschooling.  I have no idea why; it seems like an odd time of year to do that.  However, maybe there’s somebody out there who’s contemplating whether or not to homeschool in the coming months or next year.  I’ll scratch out a few thoughts if that’s you.

First, I’ll reiterate that this isn’t a homeschool blog and I’m not one of those people who believes homeschooling is the answer to the world’s problems.  Jesus is the answer to the world’s problems and there are many good schools out there, along with dedicated parents who are doing a great job with their children in a traditional school setting.

1.  Homeschooling is a matter of calling, and to my mind, that’s what you need to settle first if you’re a Christian parent who’s thinking of homeschooling your children.  Has God called you to this?  Because I’ll be honest, while homeschooling is a great joy, there are plenty of challenges.  If you haven’t settled in your heart that you are truly called you’ll become discouraged and want to throw in the towel at the first bump in the road.

2.  Is your husband on board? You can’t do it without his support.  If he’s against it, don’t even consider it until you’re on the same page.  If you’re convinced that’s what you need to be doing, pray until you come to a place of unity.  Don’t nag.

3.  Don’t be excessively idealistic. I think many of us parents come into homeschooling expecting a cozy one-room schoolhouse setting with our little students joyfully looking forward to all the lessons we’ve spent so many hours preparing.  It’s not always like that.  While homeschooling does provide the opportunity to tailor education to each child’s specific needs, and even to his particular interests, there will likely be something at some point that your child just is not happy about.  Homeschooled children have learning and behavioral needs just like other children.  Students and teacher in a homeschool have bad days just like people in traditional school.  Again, homeschooling is immensely rewarding.  It’s so exciting to me to see my kids have those lightbulb moments when they get something.  I’d miss that if they weren’t with me.  But every moment is not like that.

4.  Allow for an adjustment period. My children have never even been to traditional school and we had an adjustment period after we began this school year.  Although we were dedicated and consistent, the first couple months of this school year were challenging.  It’s only started getting fun, and easier, over the past couple weeks.  I’ll be honest, there were times during those first months when I wondered, “Is this really worth it?”  Now I’m happy we stuck it out.  We’re seeing the rewards.

5.  Don’t copy traditional school. I’ve heard this advice from many veteran homeschoolers, and since they don’t often clarify I wasn’t really sure what they meant.  Does this mean that we should not have high educational standards?  NO!  It does mean that homeschooling by its very nature will look different from traditional schooling.  For one thing, a homeschooled student can often finish his daily work in just a few hours because homeschooling is more time efficient.  No waiting for the period to be over, no changing classes or busy work.  In my opinion, it’s important for homeschooled students to be disciplined and organized in how they approach learning, but this does not mean that they have to sit at their desks from 8 till 3.  (I’ll add that I have friends who have taken a very relaxed approach to learning and still turned out brilliant children who earned scholarships, did great in college, and have successful careers.)

6.  Don’t become overwhelmed by all the choices. When my mom started homeschooling, 25 years ago, there were only a couple of curriculum companies who would sell to homeschoolers.  Today there are so many choices it will make your head swim.  Rainbow Resource, which carries most educational materials for homeschoolers, is as big as the Dallas yellow pages.  Personally, I have purposefully stayed away from homeschool book fairs and other venues where I will be overwhelmed by too much stuff.  I’ve tried to stick to a few choices that are working for us and changing only if necessary.  Too much can be distracting to me.  On the other hand, if you are the kind of person who can look at a wide variety of materials and make a decision without feeling overwhelmed, a book fair might be really helpful.

7.  Homeschooling doesn’t have to cost a lot. Even buying most curriculum new, I have never spent more than $300 a year on curriculum and supplies.  That’s one month of private school.  It’s probably as much as most parents spend on uniforms and supplies for a child in public school.  But it’s possible to even spend a lot less than that, if you buy a few “spine” resources and take advantage of the library and other free/cheap resources.

8.  Get support. Whether it’s a formal homeschool group or an unofficial circle of homeschooling friends, you need the support of others who are traveling the same path.  Otherwise you and your children end up feeling very isolated and it doesn’t work well for anyone.

9.  Don’t worry about socialization. The myth persists, even though most homeschool families I know have calendars packed with social and extracurricular activities.  I know a lot of homeschoolers, and those I’d consider antisocial usually had antisocial parents…  Antisocial parents who were not homeschooled.  Raising a socially well-rounded child has more to do with parents than school, in my opinion.

10.  BOOKS! Fill your home with books.  Find used book sales that sell books for 10 cents to $1 each and create a home library.  If our kids read every book in our home, they would have a completely well-rounded education, with the possible exception of a little bit of math and science.  When books are important in your home, it creates and atmosphere of learning, both in official school hours and outside them.

Check out these links as well:

Homeschooling in Louisiana

How to Feed a Brain

Homeschooling Heresies

 

(This wonky wordpress spacing is driving me crazy!  Sorry!)

How We Speak to Our Children Tuesday, Oct 27 2009 

mother child socks smikth

 

I was so blessed by this post on the Shepherd Press blog. Here’s a small excerpt.

In a family setting, shouting and screaming to prove a point indicates frustration, uncertainty and a lack of confidence. Loud words in such a situation will not be heeded by the heart. Loud words may win outward compliance based upon fear, frustration or resignation, but they will not win the heart.

I was also impressed by this little video clip of Michelle Duggar (of the Discovery show 18 Kids and Counting) with 2 of her little ones.  I’m not particularly a fan of the Duggars…There are plenty of things they do that I don’t agree with…But they clearly love Jesus and I think He’s allowed them to display a sweet godly family to a watching world.  Michelle’s gentle voice has especially challenged me in how I relate to my kids.  (I think the clip was meant to poke fun, but I enjoyed it.)

How to Feed a Brain Thursday, Oct 22 2009 

holyexperiencegeese

If you don’t read Ann Voskamp’s blog Holy Experience, you should.  I’ve been completely enjoying her post How to Feed a Brain Everyday (Daily Links for Hungry Minds).  Wow!  A wealth of web resources for learning!  I can’t wait to use some of these with my kids.

How to Cook Steel Cut Oats Wednesday, Oct 21 2009 

goldilocks

There are a zillion good reasons to cook your family steel cut oats for breakfast!  A few:  Steel cut oats are less processed than regular oatmeal.  They are hearty, filling, and delicious.  They are super good for you.  And if you buy them in bulk, they are cheap!  (If you buy them in the little can at the grocery store, they are like gold.)

Here’s how I do it.

1.  The night before, soak 2 c. steel cut oats in 2 quarts water and 2 T. apple cider vinegar or lemon juice.  This breaks down the phytic acid (an anti-nutrient found in grains and legumes), making the nutrients more easily absorbed and the oats easier to digest.  It also cuts the cooking time by a bit.  This step isn’t essential, so if you forget to soak the oats it’s not the end of the world.  I try to do this though.

2.  In the morning…drain oats into a strainer and rinse very well to get rid of any sour taste from the vinegar or lemon juice.  Put them in a pot with 6 cups water.

If you did not soak the oats, use 8 cups water.

3.  Cook over medium heat for about 30 minutes or until oatmeal is thick and oats are tender.  You’ll want to stir it quite a bit at the end, to prevent sticking.

Let it cool a little.  Serve with raisins, honey, butter, milk, nuts, fruit, or whatever you like with oatmeal.  Yummy!!!

(I also like to add 2 chopped apples at the beginning.  Then when the oatmeal is done, I stir in some cinnamon and honey.  That’s the kids’ favorite!)

Have Yourself a Thrifty Little Christmas Wednesday, Oct 21 2009 

child stocking

I love Christmas, and it’s not too early to start thinking about it!   I love to give gifts. I have a lot of people on my gift list. And that can add up.

When my husband was a senior pastor, each year he took a special tree ornament to church and showed it to everyone from the pulpit. He made it out of the credit cards he melted a few years before we got married! The point: it’s not worth going into debt for Christmas. It’s possible to have a great holiday and give awesome gifts without breaking the bank.

Here are a few of my favorite ways to save money on Christmas gifts.

1. Buy throughout the year. Don’t let Christmas sneak up on you and end up looking for the perfect gift on Christmas Eve. Then you spend more money than you intended to on an impulse purchase.

2. If you have any craft or creative skills at all, use them to make gifts. Again, start early enough that you aren’t pressed for time when Christmas is almost upon you. This could be anything from clothes sewn by hand, to handcrafted Christmas tree ornaments, to stories written for your children, or favorite books read aloud on CD.

3. Shop discount or closeout stores like Marshall’s, Big Lots, or Tuesday Morning. Also check out local individually owned discount stores. You might have to sort through some junk, but you can find great buys at discount stores on everything from name brand clothes to stationery to housewares.

4. Buy in bulk and divide into inexpensive containers. Here’s an idea: Buy 50 lb. of steel cut oatmeal (cheap bought this way, but like gold if you get it in small amounts), package in quart jars tied with ribbon and a recipe for how to cook it.

5. Family and friends who live far away love to receive photos, especially if you have little ones in the house! Use inexpensive frames or pretty little photo albums.

6. Don’t feel like you always have to buy full priced, new off the shelf items. If someone on your list is a biliophile, find a book by their favorite author to add to their collection on Amazon or Ebay. You can often find items new with tags on ebay or at garage sales. Someone else payed full price for them, but you get them–still new–for a song! People frequently sell items in perfect condition that were probably never used. Add to someone’s collection with beautiful but inexpensive antiques from garage or estate sales. You might even find something brand new for free on Freecycle. But shhhhh, it will be your little secret!

7. Give the gift of time. Offer to rake leaves, babysit, or fix a meal for someone on your list. Make a certificate for a special tea time with your daughter or a fishing day with your son.

So you see, it’s possible to give a lot of gifts for not too much money. Use your imagination! You’ll find ways to save at every turn.

Children and Fear Monday, Oct 19 2009 

mother child moon jwsmith

Here’s my weekend post, a day late!

It seems most children go through a fearful stage at some point.  One thing that helps little ones is to understand how much God loves them, that He takes care of them, and He does not want them to be afraid!  Here are a few verses to share with our little ones when they are frightened.  For extra fear-knocking power, help them memorize these verses to say when they are scared.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 (Timothy 1:7)

The Lord is my light and my salvation–whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life–of whom shall I be afraid? (Psalm 27:1)

{Especially for nighttime fears}I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; For You alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety. (Psalm 4:8)

So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can Man do to me?” (Hebrews 13:6)

Frugal Wisdom Thursday, Oct 15 2009 

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My friend Mrs. Patti (now my brother’s mother-in-law…got that?) is one of those people who can make something beautiful and special on a dime.  She’s a bargain shopper extraordinaire.  She gave me some bargain shopping advice many years ago that stuck with me.  She said, “It’s not a good deal if you don’t need it.”

I’ll add another tip.  It’s not a good deal if you don’t like it.  There have been times that I bought something just because it was such a good deal, but either I didn’t need it or didn’t particularly like it.  Consequently, it didn’t get much use and usually ended up in the Goodwill box after awhile.

So–use judgment when bargain shopping!  If you don’t need an item, or if you don’t like it, save that money for something else!

Precious Vintage Illustrations on Flickr Thursday, Oct 15 2009 

girl doll autumn

If you love vintage children’s book illustrations like I do, you’ll be sure to enjoy this Flickr group:  Dolly and Me.  (Hat tip:  Little Jenny Wren)

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